The Future of North Korea: South Korea

What are we waiting for? Are we really that blind? Poor North Korea. The tiny, miserable country has been neglected by the world for far too long. All they want is a little bit of attention. Is it so much to ask?

First they built up the fourth largest standing army in the world. Not a titter from us. Then they developed a few nuclear weapons, and we barely even noticed. In angst, they test-fired a bunch of missiles, practically shouting “Hey! We’re still here!” Last March, they sank a South Korean navy ship, killing 46 sailors. Our response: how’s Tiger Woods’ game gonna change?

What more can little North Korea do?

Now, they’ve been forced to sink to their lowest level yet. It is expected that Kim Jong-Un will be announced successor to his father, North Korea’s “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-Il. The boy is a weak and inexperienced 20-something who suffers from obesity, hypertension and diabetes. He will inherit a state of widespread famine, disease, corruption, ostrich farms and a country where the average salary is $47 per month. Contrast that with the heavenly bastion of South Korea that’s literally three feet away.

Why does North Korea even still exist? You might be thinking, “Well we can’t just invade the place!” Actually, we can. The Korean War was put on hold with an armistice in 1953. A peace treaty was never signed. The two nations are officially still at war. But what about the armistice, you ask? In May 2009, North Korea unilaterally withdrew from the agreement.

It’s time to put them out of their misery. Clearly, they’ve been begging us to for quite a while. North Korea is a joke state with a joke leader, soon to be a thing of the past.

Get rid of the Kim-Jungs and bring in the kim-chi.

The Future of North Korea: South Korea